Top 26 Boat Jokes

Boat Jokes

  1. Captain Hook’s Shopping Spree: Why does Captain Hook always shop at second-hand stores? Because he can’t resist a good hook!
  2. Fishy Construction Work: Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “”Dam!””
  3. Pirate’s Budgeting Woes: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a buck an ear.
  4. Pirate’s Milestone Birthday: What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? “”Aye Matey!””
  5. Skipper’s Lighthouse Confusion: Why did the skipper get so confused at night? Because he couldn’t figure out why the land was moving but the lighthouse was staying still.
  6. Sailor’s Dilemma: What do you call a sail with two corners? “”I haven’t got a clew!””
  7. Seagull’s Identity Crisis: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  8. Paint Collision Course: What happens when a red boat hits a blue boat? The crew gets marooned.
  9. Nautical Medical Team: A doctor, a dentist, and a lawyer are stuck in a boat surrounded by sharks. Who survives? The sharks.
  10. Captain Jack’s Kitchen Secrets: What does Captain Jack Sparrow cook with? Pyrex of the Caribbean.
  11. Peer Influence at Sea: Why did the motor boat start taking on water? Pier pressure.
  12. Sea Captain’s Envelope Mystery: Why does a sea captain always carry an envelope? Just in case he needs to send out an SOS.
  13. Sick Boat’s Hospital Visit: What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc.
  14. Skipper’s Household Chore: How many skippers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that’s what the first mate is for!
  15. Sailing Trip’s Missing Shade: Why did the couple realize their sailing trip was doomed? They noticed the bimini was missing, and they weren’t even in the Bahamas.
  16. Stowaway’s Misunderstanding: Why did the woman stow away on the wrong ship? She heard it was going to be a “”smashing”” cruise.
  17. Skipper’s Crew Hunt: Why did the skipper go to the high-rise to find his crew? He heard the higher you go, the more experienced the sailors.

Sailing Humor

  1. Sailing to the Caribbean: Why did the sailor bring a ladder on his trip to the Caribbean? He heard the bar was pretty high.
  2. Norwegian Navy’s Efficiency: Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? So when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian.
  3. Sailor’s Home Course: Why did the sailor’s wife take a Day Skipper Course? She wanted to make sure her husband wasn’t lost at sea or at home.

Maritime Jokes

  1. Boat Naming Woes: Why did the fisherman name his boat “”Cod Dependents””? Because he couldn’t tackle life alone.
  2. The Optimistic Fisherman: How does a fisherman fix a broken net? With lots of fish-tive thinking.

Boating Humor

  1. Boat’s Fashion Crisis: Why was the boat always trendy? It had a nice sail and always tied up neatly at the dock.
  2. Sneaky Fish Tale: How do you keep a fish from smelling? Cut off its nose.

Barcodes in Navy

  1. Navy’s Checkout Process: Why did the sailor bring a scanner to the navy ship? He heard they were checking out at the next port.

Sailor Humor at the Bar

  1. Sailor’s Drink Order: Why did the sailor order water at the bar? Because he wanted to stay a-boat the influence.”,”-“
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